Have You Ever Felt Like This?

NOT GONNA GO
Oh Boy! Here's the premium list for a Show!
Oh no! Not that one! We're "not" gonna go!
Remember last year how we swore lose or win
That we'd never set foot on these show grounds again?
It was hot, it was dirty. and not enough shade,
The inadequate benching was so poorly made. 
The entry was lousy in bitches and dogs,
And they charged way too much for their bad catalogues.
The rings were so distant and located far 
From the quagmire where we abandoned the car 
That we nearly collapsed from having to pack 
The dogs, crates and penning over and back.
And we nearly expired from hunger and thirst, 
'Cause the food and drink set-up was truly the worst. 
And the ring was so small and on uneven ground; 
There were stickers and weeds and debris all around,
And it's too far to travel for just one old show 
So throw out the entries: we're not gonna go! 
We'll stay home and loaf and relax and be glad 
For no bathing, nail trimming, and rushing like mad.
No hitting the road at the dawn's early light, 
No dragging home beat in the still of the night. 
Just think of all the time and expense 
We'll save by just using our good common sense.
However, there "is" one small thing I'll concede: 
I would like to watch while they're judging our breed. 
Say, I'll tell you what! Why don't we just go 
As leisurely spectators viewing the show?
What a treat it will be to sit ringside with ease 
And after the judging, just leave when we please. 
No bother with dogs and all their regalia, 
And all of the various paraphernalia.
But. as long as we'll be there, what could be wrong 
With 'just for fun' taking one dog along? 
OK! We'll take one. But the problem is: which? 
A pup? The special? A dog or a bitch? 
If we took a puppy it would just be for fun 
But we could sure use the points if the dog or bitch won.
We'll never decide - it's no use to stall. 
Dig out the entries - We'll enter them all! 
But if it turns out as bad as we fear, 
We'll really and truly stay home "next" year!
Reprinted from Lenape Lines via The Gateway Golden Gazette
 Copyright © John White & Gill White 1998 - 2006